Southern definitions, sayings and euphamisms. (A re-tread)

Pork rinds the other potato chip. The Harmonica- mouth organ and why teeth just get in the way.

Banjo- an instrument for the inbread.

Pickup Truck-Mode of transport or pretty planter for the front lawn. The physics of driving with the tailgate down and why shit wont fall out because youre special.

Males only-Your penis or Counting to ten with a missing digit.

Females only-Your Boobies-The reason why girls can count to twelve.

Toes and fingers natures abacus.

Grits theyre not just for breakfast anymore.

Beer natures way of re-producing for the Springer show guest list.

Why not to pee in the woods near a log that looks like a water mochasin. Taught by Professor Dickless.

Why the south really should have won the civil war.

Sex Education-Your cousin and you. Why nature is wrong.

Darwinism vs Creationsim-or why The Platypus is Ridulous but Adams Rib making a woman is a perfectly acceptable and believable point of view.

Gay Marriage and other signs of the Apocalypse.

Gun control why I need to be able to shoot a defenseless deer 3000 times in 15 seconds. Forget that the 2nd amendment was written over 200 years ago when the fastest rifleman could only get a shot off once every 30 seconds.

Why orphans in the third world really dont like food, but really fat overweight people in the mall need our sympathy and 24/7 access to McDonalds.

Why the Baptist Preacher is allowed to cheat on his wife and drink and your not.